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乔伊斯的故事-第5部分

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光因他而变的温柔。

  从记事起,无论是从几岁记事,我应该最少可以记的住5000个黄昏,如果从五岁记事,我应该有20年的黄昏可以记忆,换做7000…8000个黄昏来计算,我应该经历过夕阳各种各式的姿态,被平原、山顶、河滩以及火车上、汽车上、自行车上的夕阳照耀,我记不得了。那些被母亲喊回家吃晚饭的黄昏,那些迎面遇见隔壁班女生的黄昏,还有背着书包从县城赶回车站的那些路面上的太阳余光,以及那些渐次亮起灯盏的校园的黄昏时刻,我现在记不得了吗,还是我不曾深深地把它们记住。现在我离开的太久,回忆路上的障碍并不友善,它们簇长着,变成的是山和沟壑。现在我发现不是被那些黄昏抛弃,就是掉进那些温暖的小陷阱里。

  黄昏时刻,父亲归来。

  他的机动车开进家门口那个狭长的巷道的时候,家里的黑狗总是早已做好了迎接的准备,它哈着气,伸着舌头朝门口张望,接着就跳跃着朝门口冲去,它出门的动作有好几种:1,箭一般的穿过敞开的大门,沿着门口上那条柏油路闻声而奔,像是去捕捉一只声音的骨头;2,对于关闭的木门,它只好用头抵开并没有关合的门菲,你会听见嗵嗵的机动车和木门支呀声和黑狗奔跑时急剧喘气的声音;3,门还是关着,禁闭的门菲变成了墙的一部分,只见它趴下简壮的身躯从门下爬过,它的后腿由于太用力而使蹄下的泥土露出潮湿的印痕。这个时候的阳光照在庭院的地面上,留下斜斜的树影和尘土泛出的黄色微光,黑狗终于跑出去了,在街道上对着父亲的机动车狂吠,它的欢迎仪式使我的欢迎显得浅薄而让我羞愧。

  离开这个根本离不开的村庄,所以我们时刻都不曾离开。村庄有时是一个关于鸽子的故事,他们有两种解释:一种是我们在野地里支开了一只铝皮小罐,又从附近的老树下搜集了足够的干柴,之后野地里闪起了桐树和杨树枝条燃烧的火星,那只鸽子在从小河里舀回来的混水里翻滚着,散发着明快的香气;另一个说法是金磊、刘建、钟杰等我们几人在公路段一排二楼办公室的后面空地里挖起了一个书本大小的巢穴,之后我们庄重地把鸽子的尸体放起去,我们祷告它会升入天堂。

  近来我才发现这两个记忆里的鸽子其实不是同一个,前者是刘建从家里鸽子窝儿里抓出来的一只成年鸽子,肥大而羽毛丰满,他那个下午回家后不知道有没有被父母唠叨,我们吃那只鸽子的时候空气里充满了鲜肉的气息,河水煮鸽肉的味道至今我还没有第二次尝到,于是她成了唯一的野炊;而后一只鸽子其实是金磊家的一只猫,不是鸽子,我想它万一是一只鸽子的话,应该是前一只鸽子的下场,我们为那只猫做祷告的时候被金磊的母亲:我们那位和蔼可亲的婶婶教训了一次,她说我们是瞎胡闹。这个时候金磊家的厨房已经冒出了直溜溜的炊烟,婶婶说要给我们做一顿大餐,有肉有青菜,肉是猪肉,青菜有蒜薹。

  有那么多遗落在昔日路上的又是我们曾经怀着欣喜放进口袋里的五彩石子等着我们去捡回。那些逐渐僵硬成灰白记忆的事件保留着冷眼的光泽,一层层的变得黯淡无光的我们曾经清澈的眼眸你忍心让它们死去吗?还有那些飘满霞光的鳞片,开满槐花、桐花、小枣的花和飘着毛毛虫的树林,那条波光粼粼的小河,怎能随着紧闭的眼眸而让它们失去色彩,怎么能。我们那些活跃在午夜的兄弟貌似在挽留着一个秘密景象的消逝。我们的先辈在书本里写下的那些路径昭示的灿烂和辉煌轰轰烈烈地展开。在这个独特的时刻,我们仿佛捡回自己。我们属于自己。多么纯粹的时刻,爱和被爱都在一个明晰的思维里翻卷,像是河流在铺满青石板的河道里流淌,没有泥沙的、水是清水、没有污染的时刻,面对一个人内心的宁静,之后才可以去面对纷乱和疏忽万变的明天及世界。

  这是平原自己。我一直把这句当作我对西陵镇的解读。西陵镇延伸至县城,县城毗邻着几个县城,被统一叫做商丘。这里是豫东平原,丰饶的家乡。他作为他自己,已经吸引住我。txt电子书分享平台 

My Hometown
Xi Ling Town with the w*ing of the locust tree’s flowers in summer exactly was her tempting time。

  Young mother walked through this quiet village; her hurried running made the bees which perch in the flowers dance lightly; made the low flying sparrow chirp unceasingly。 What confused her minds; and made her running in this shade whirling alleyway at noon?

  She opens the wooden door; and stood in front her husband with shy face。 This moment of love in this remote village means a meaningless beauty which I always fantasy the scene of the Xi Ling town’s love story in this he*ily planting poplars and locust trees village。

  The 1990’s moment attract me; the remote and quiet town back into a warmth times by my way; and the town was fostered by rains; was spread by flyer。

  I should sleep *oothly in the hammock under the tree shadow; and I didn’t wake up when my mother opened the gate with a push。 My waking es from the breath of my mother; and the sweetness of this *ell。

  I waked up when my father return home with his kitbag; then my mother return home from the field; this is a moment that the sunlight drip down from the plane trees leaf; and the ringing resound in the primary school; this is a moment that a group of students run out the schoolroom with the shout and jump for joy; this is a moment that my mother walks in the door; and her hands bring the green from the fields of the countryside。

  Because my father stands by my hammock; my waking is about some snacks what he always brings for me。 I always fancy the moment that maybe mixes all the *ells and takes me away from my deep sleep。 I should wake up one time like this beautiful moment; for the moment that my father brought my first school fee after he returned from one distant construction site。 Maybe I need this beautiful memory to illusion that my mother asked me about going to school。

  I never want to study in school before。

  Because I h*en’t played all the games in my childhood time; but the moment of the new pool which I h*e exc*ated in a pile of sand didn’t appear all the time; and I thought that I can’t finish building my manor; so I break the pool and follow my mother to the school which near to my family。

  Attending school is the only choice because I feel nobody would play a game with me。 It was a very disheartened moment。 I feel very unhappy when I walk along that sand pile; I know it is a unpleted work for me when I want build my manor in my childhood; that must be the most sorry moment when I walk by that pool。

  If a child has an unpleted building in his childhood; and breaks it by himself like me; I truly want to ask him a question。 Was he feeling happy in his childhood? If we can ask one question when they attend school; I want to ask why they went to school? I want to know the motivation of study; maybe someone goes to school for an award of ice cream。 If he goes to school; his mother will give him some pocket money。 Although someone feels alone when his friends all went to school; when his girl next door also hangs her schoolbag over her shoulder; likewise he want to be a student like his brother。

  Maybe he brings the disturbance to the henhouse; or he turnover his mother’s needlework basket。 I also guess whether I will follow my mother’s hand and go to school if I can build my manor in the sand pile and my neighbor never use that sand pile to repair his courtyard wall。

  Without the stories from school; I can’t meet with the child cowherd in the spring of ancient poetry; I lose the scenery of my hometown which is described like two poems: “The February winds blow over the weeping willow” and “Trim the le*es like a scissors。”

  And if you want to sport fishing with a river of snow; it’s very implausible; you can go fishing at our river; take a seat on the bridge which stands in the middle of the east village and west village。 In the upper river; you can fish with the distant sun in my village; although if you turn your back toward the sun and look at the village changes into a snow country after the he*y snow。

  But in this season; the flowers of Chinese scholar trees also cover the village airspace。 From the one second floor window we can see and *ile at the full…bodied flowers。 I also sleep under those flowers and *ile at the delicate fragrance; the potpourri washes over my pillow like a stream of running water。

  My father also stands by the raised platform around a well; he cannot drink the unboiled water because he has stomach illness; so he has to wait for his bowl of hot water; and in this moment he re…attaches to the building which peeled off the chimney in summer。

  He is a good mason in our village; but the mason’s chimney also drops off some clod; and his courtyard wall is also waiting to be repaired in this *all village。 The juvenile peach branches stretch out my courtyard and can be touched by some schoolchild。 The peach tree shakes behind my father and makes the whole courtyard shaking in my mind。 My father’s hot water cool down with the wind; and I also sleep lazily and don’t worry about going to school tomorrow。 。 想看书来

School Fee
My father es back with cash for my school fee。 The cash can be regarded as a big expenditure for my family。 Absolutely! And in that time I can’t think out a way to spend ten Yuan on something; but I know this situation will change tomorrow; because I will go to school。 Some schoolchild play a game of chicken; they all run into the classroom suddenly when I want to join with them; then the class ring remind us back to the classroom; and I run with them into a room with shabby windows。

  What we finish a day’s class; I can’t remember anymore; I only care about the game I h*e played or didn’t play。 After the last student was carried to the classroom; the class begins truly。 I remember the blackboard was scribble by the chalk; and the chalk line clearly more and more in that afternoon I know I begin to study。 I feel the strokes of a Chinese characters; I feel my mind clearly gradually。 My neighbor is different with the one who was seen in the field when he stand in the dais; his cloths looks very clean。

  Maybe the ine of the first class is an impulse of h*ing a colored chalk; and then we can play with the colored chalk in the blackboard from one side to another side when the class is over。 We draw a picture in the blackboard with the chalk which our teacher used and build our configuration objects painting。

  Maybe the interesting of mimicry is a instinct of human being; he is a child whether he h*e went for a walk in the country in spring; or h*e play the game of kite in spring; whatever he h*e done when he played with the sunshine and flyer; he must feel the spring in his childhood at least once。 And whatever he thought about the easterlies; he has flied kites with it。

  I also met the same landscape in our language books; and we also h*e the same childhood with the color pictures which print in the first few pages of the language books。 And in that time we all believe that there must be an old man fishing in the river with the pure white snow in the winter; and he is fishing day after day and changing into an old verse。 But we can think about those pictures now only if we h*e a poet’s fancy and courage。  I feel the morning reading one day when I lingerer around school building; and in that day I don’t go to school。

  Yes; I cut a class in my childhood。

  When the famer irrigates in the field; I shuttle in a noiseless alleyway in my village and the indistinct class where I always read some archaic poems that I h*e wearied。 I feel alone in that time when I separate from the big group; my school。

  The khaki road extend far away; I roam in my village from the north to the southward。 The flaps of sparrow in the sky break this stillness; and I remember two verses of book when I roam by riverside behind the school building。 And I always remember the picture aside。

  A seed is sown in spring。 A harvest is reaped in autumn。

  The villager poetize the first verse in the northern field; the river flows to the south with the gold lea
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