new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第7部分

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〃I　think　I　can　handle　it；〃　he　said；　and　then　frowned。　〃If　I'd　had　any　idea　
that　you　could　respond　to　a　gift　
this　appropriately；　I　would　have　made　you　open　it　in　front　of　Carlisle　and　
Esme。　I　thought　you'd　
plain。〃　
〃Well；　of　course　it's　too　much。　But　I　get　to　take　you　with　me！〃　
He　chuckled。　〃Now　I　wish　I'd　spent　money　on　your　present。　I　didn't　realize　
that　you　were　capable　of　
being　reasonable。〃　
I　set　the　tickets　aside　and　reached　for　his　present；　my　curiosity　rekindled。　
He　took　it　from　me　and　
unwrapped　it　like　the　first　one。　
He　handed　back　a　clear　CD　jewel　case；　with　a　blank　silver　CD　inside。　
〃What　is　it？〃　I　asked；　perplexed。　
He　didn't　say　anything；　he　took　the　CD　and　reached　around　me　to　put　it　in　the　
CD　player　on　the　bedside　
table。　He　hit　play；　and　we　waited　in　silence。　Then　the　music　began。　
I　listened；　speechless　and　wide…eyed。　I　knew　he　was　waiting　for　my　reaction；　
but　I　couldn't　talk。　Tears　
welled　up；　and　I　reached　up　to　wipe　them　away　before　they　could　spill　over。　
〃Does　your　arm　hurt？〃　he　asked　anxiously。　
〃No；　it's　not　my　arm。　It's　beautiful；　Edward。　You　couldn't　have　given　me　
anything　I　would　love　more。　I　
can't　believe　it。〃　I　shut　up；　so　I　could　listen。　
It　was　his　music；　his　positions。　The　first　piece　on　the　CD　was　my　lullaby。　
〃I　didn't　think　you　would　let　me　get　a　piano　so　I　could　play　for　you　here；〃　he　
explained。　
〃You're　right。〃　
〃How　does　your　arm　feel？〃　
〃Just　fine。〃　Actually；　it　was　starting　to　blaze　under　the　bandage。　I　wanted　
ice。　I　would　have　settled　for　his　
hand；　but　that　would　have　given　me　away。　
〃I'll　get　you　some　Tylenol。〃　
〃I　don't　need　anything；〃　I　protested；　but　he　slid　me　off　his　lap　and　headed　
for　the　door。　
〃Charlie；〃　I　hissed。　Charlie　wasn't　exactly　aware　that　Edward　frequently　
stayed　over。　In　fact；　he　would　
have　a　stroke　if　that　fact　were　brought　to　his　attention。　But　I　didn't　feel　
too　guilty　for　deceiving　him　It　
wasn't　as　if　we　were　up　to　anything　he　wouldn't　want　me　to　be　up　to。　Edward　
and　his　rules　
〃He　won't　catch　me；〃　Edward　promised　as　he　disappeared　silently　out　the　door　。　
。　and　returned；　catching　
the　door　before　it　had　swung　back　to　touch　the　frame。　He　had　the　glass　from　
the　bathroom　and　the　bottle　
of　pills　in　one　hand。　
I　took　the　pills　he　handed　me　without　arguing—I　knew　I　would　lose　the　
argument　And　my　arm　really　was　
starting　to　bother　me。　
My　lullaby　continued；　soft　and　lovely；　in　the　background。　
〃It's　late；〃　Edward　noted。　He　scooped　me　up　off　the　bed　with　one　arm；　and　
pulled　the　cover　back　with　
the　other。　He　put　me　down　with　my　head　on　my　pillow　and　tucked　the　quilt　
around　me。　He　lay　down　next　
to　me—on　top　of　the　blanket　so　I　wouldn't　get　chilled—and　put　his　arm　over　
me。　
I　leaned　my　head　against　his　shoulder　and　sighed　happily。　
〃Thanks　again；〃　I　whispered。　
〃You're　wele。〃　
It　was　quiet　for　a　long　moment　as　I　listened　to　my　lullaby　drift　to　a　close。　
Another　song　began。　I　
recognized　Esme's　favorite。　
〃What　are　you　thinking　about？'〃　I　wondered　in　a　whisper。　
He　hesitated　for　a　second　before　he　told　me。　〃I　was　thinking　about　right　and　
wrong；　actually。〃　
I　felt　a　chill　tingle　along　my　spine。　
〃Remember　how　I　decided　that　I　wanted　you　to　not　ignore　my　birthday？〃　I　asked　
quickly；　hoping　it　
wasn't　too　clear　that　I　was　trying　to　distract　him。　
〃Yes；〃　he　agreed；　wary。　
〃Well；　I　was　thinking；　since　it's　still　my　birthday；　that　I'd　like　you　to　kiss　
me　again。〃　
〃You're　greedy　tonight。〃　
〃Yes；　I　am—but　please；　don't　do　anything　you　don't　want　to　do；〃　I　added；　
piqued。　
He　laughed；　and　then　sighed。　〃Heaven　forbid　that　I　should　do　anything　I　don't　
want　to　do；〃　he　said　in　a　
strangely　desperate　tone　as　he　put　his　hand　under　my　chin　and　pulled　my　face　
up　to　his。　
The　kiss　began　much　the　same　as　usual—Edward　was　as　careful　as　ever；　and　my　
heart　began　to　
overreact　like　it　always　did。　And　then　something　seemed　to　change。　Suddenly　
his　lips　became　much　more　
urgent；　his　free　hand　twisted　into　my　hair　and　held　my　face　securely　to　his。　
And；　though　my　hands　tangled　
in　his　hair；　too；　and　though　I　was　clearly　beginning　to　cross　his　cautious　
lines；　for　once　he　didn't　stop　me。　
His　body　was　cold　through　the　thin　quilt；　but　I　crushed　myself　against　him　
eagerly。　
When　he　stopped　it　was　abrupt；　he　pushed　me　away　with　gentle；　firm　hands。　
I　collapsed　back　onto　my　pillow；　gasping；　my　head　spinning。　Something　tugged　
at　my　memory；　elusive；　
on　the　edges。　
〃Sorry；〃　he　said；　and　he　was　breathless；　too。　〃That　was　out　of　line。〃　
〃I　don't　mind；〃　I　panted。　
He　frowned　at　me　in　the　darkness。　〃Try　to　sleep。　Bella。〃　
〃No；　I　want　you　to　kiss　me　again。〃　
〃You're　overestimating　my　self…control。〃　
〃Which　is　tempting　you　more；　my　blood　or　my　body？〃　I　challenged。　
〃It's　a　tie。〃　He　grinned　briefly　in　spite　of　himself；　and　then　was　serious　
again。　〃Now。　why　don't　you　stop　
pushing　your　luck　and　go　to　sleep？〃　
〃Fine；〃　I　agreed；　snuggling　closer　to　him。　I　really　did　feel　exhausted。　It　had　
been　a　long　day　in　so　many　
ways；　yet　I　felt　no　sense　of　relief　at　its　end。　Almost　as　if　something　worse　
was　ing　tomorrow。　It　was　a　
silly　premonition—what　could　be　worse　than　today？'　Just　the　shock　catching　up　
with　me；　no　doubt。　
Trying　to　be　sneaky　about　it；　I　pressed　my　injured　arm　against　his　shoulder；　
so　his　cool　skin　would　sooth　
the　burning。　It　felt　better　at　once。　
I　was　halfway　asleep；　maybe　more；　when　I　realized　what　his　kiss　had　reminded　
me　of：　last　spring；　when　
he'd　had　to　leave　me　to　throw　James　off　my　trail；　Edward　had　kissed　me　
goodbye；　not　knowing　
when—or　if—we　would　see　each　other　again。　This　kiss　had　the　same　almost　
painful　edge　for　some　
reason　I　couldn't　imagine。　I　shuddered　into　unconsciousness；　as　if　I　were　
already　having　a　nightmare。　
　3。　THE　END
I　FELT　ABSOLUTELY　HIDEOUS　IN　THE　MORNING。　I　HADN'T　slept　well；　my　arm　burned　
and　
my　head　ached。　It　didn't　help　my　outlook　that　Edward's　face　was　smooth　and　
remote　as　he　kissed　my　
forehead　quickly　and　ducked　out　my　window。　I　was　afraid　of　the　time　I'd　spent　
unconscious；　afraid　that　
he　might　have　been　thinking　about　right　and　wrong　again　while　he　watched　me　
sleep。　The　anxiety　seemed　
to　ratchet　up　the　intensity　of　the　pounding　in　my　head。　
Edward　was　waiting　for　me　at　school；　as　usual；　but　his　face　was　still　wrong。　
There　was　something　buried　
in　his　eyes　that　I　couldn't　be　sure　of—and　it　scared　me。　I　didn't　want　to　
bring　up　last　night；　but　I　wasn't　
sure　if　avoiding　the　subject　would　be　worse。　
He　opened　my　door　for　me。　
〃How　do　you　feel？〃　
〃Perfect；〃　I　lied；　cringing　as　the　sound　of　the　slamming　door　echoed　in　my　
head。　
We　walked　in　silence；　he　shortening　his　stride　to　match　mine。　There　were　so　
many　questions　I　wanted　to　
ask；　but　most　of　those　questions　would　have　to　wait；　because　chey　were　for　
Alice：　How　was　Jasper　this　
morning？　What　had　they　said　when　I　was　gone？　What　had　Rosalie　said？　And　most　
importantly；　what　
could　she　see　happening　now　in　her　strange；　imperfect　visions　of　the　future？　
Could　she　guess　what　
Edward　was　thinking；　why　he　was　so　gloomy？　Was　there　a　foundation　for　the　
tenuous；　instinctive　fears　
that　I　couldn't　seem　to　shake？　
The　morning　passed　slowly。　I　was　impatient　to　see　Alice；　though　I　wouldn't　be　
able　to　really　talk　to　her　
with　Edward　there。　Edward　remained　aloof。　Occasionally　he　would　ask　about　my　
arm；　and　I　would　lie。　
Alice　usually　beat　us　to　lunch；　she　didn't　have　to　keep　pace　with　a　sloth　like　
me。　But　she　wasn't　at　the　
table；　waiting　with　a　tray　of　food　she　wouldn't　eat。　
Edward　didn't　say　anything　about　her　absence。　I　wondered　to　myself　if　her　
class　was　running　late—until　I　
saw　Conner　and　Ben；　who　were　in　her　fourth　hour　French　class。　
〃Where's　Alice？〃　I　asked　Edward　anxiously。　
He　looked　at　the　granola　bar　he　was　slowly　pulverizing　between　his　fingertips　
while　he　answered。　〃She's　
with　Jasper。〃　
〃Is　he　okay？〃　
〃He's　gone　away　for　a　while。〃　
〃What？　Where？〃　
Edward　shrugged。　〃Nowhere　in　particular。〃　
〃And　Alice；　too；〃　I　said　with　quiet　desperation。　Of　course；　if　Jasper　needed　
her；　she　would　go。　
〃Yes。　She'll　be　gone　for　a　while。　She　was　trying　to　convince　him　to　go　to　
Denali。〃　
Denali　was　where　the　one　other　band　of　unique　vampires—good　ones　like　the　
Cullens—lived。　Tanya　and　
her　family。　I'd　heard　of　them　now　and　again。　Edward　had　run　to　them　last　
winter　when　my　arrival　had　
made　Forks　difficult　for　him。　Laurent；　the　most　civilized　member　of　James's　
little　coven；　had　gone　there　
rather　than　siding　with　James　against　the　Cullens。　It　made　sense　for　Alice　to　
encourage　Jasper　to　go　
there。　
I　swallowed；　trying　to　dislodge　the　sudden　lump　in　my　throat。　The　guilt　made　
my　head　bow　and　my　
shoulders　slump。　I'd　run　them　out　of　their　home；　just　like　Rosalie　and　Emmett。　
I　was　a　plague。　
〃Is　your　arm　bothering　you？〃　he　asked　solicitously。　
〃Who　cares　about　my　stupid　arm？〃　I　muttered　in　disgust。　
He　didn't　answer；　and　I　put　my　head　down　on　the　table。　
By　the　end　of　the　day；　the　silence　was　being　ridiculous。　I　didn't　want　to　
be　the　one　to　break　it；　but　
apparently　that　was　my　only　choice　if　I　ever　wanted　him　to　talk　to　me　again。　
〃You'll　e　over　later　tonight？〃　I　asked　as　he　walked　me—silently—to　my　
truck。　He　always　came　over。　
〃Later？〃　
It　pleased　me　that　he　seemed　surprised。　〃I　have　to　work。　I　had　to　trade　with　
Mrs。　Newton　to　get　
yesterday　off。〃　
〃Oh；〃　he　murmured。　
〃So　you'll　e　over　when　I'm　home；　though；　right？〃　I　hated　that　I　felt　
suddenly　unsure　about　this。　
〃If　you　want　me　to。〃　
〃I　always　want　you；〃　I　reminded　him；　with　perhaps　a　little　more　intensity　than　
the　conversation　required。　
I　expected　he　would　laugh；　or　smile；　or　react　somehow　to　my　words。　
〃All　right；　then；〃　he　said　indifferently。　
He　kissed　my　forehead　again　before　he　shut　the　door　on　me。　Then　he　turned　his　
back　and　loped　
gracefully　toward　his　car。　
I　was　able　to　drive　out　of　the　parking　lot　before　the　panic　really　hit；　but　I　
was　hyperventilating　by　the　time　
I　got　to　Newton's。　
He　just　needed　time；　I　told　myself。　He　would　get　over　this。　Maybe　he　was　sad　
because　his　family　was　
disappearing。　But　Alice　and　Jasper　would　e　back　soon；　and　Rosalie　and　
Emmett；　too。　If　it　would　
help；　I　would　stay　away　from　the　big　white　house　on　the　river—I'd　never　set　
foot　there　again。　That　didn't　
matter。　I'd　still　see　Alice　at　school。　She　would　have　to　e　back　for　school；　
right？　And　she　was　at　my　
place　all　the　time　anyway。　She　wouldn't　want　to　hurt　Charlie's　feelings　by　
staying　away。　
No　doubt　I　would　also　run　into　Carlisle　with　regularity—in　the　emergency　
room。　
After　all；　what　had　happened　last　night　was　nothing。　Nothing　had　happened。　So　
I　fell　down—that　was　
the　story　of　my　life。　pared　to　last　spring；　it　seemed　especially　
unimportant。　James　had　left　me　broken　
and　nearly　dead　from　loss　of　blood—and　yet　Edward　had　handled　the　
interminable　weeks　in　the　hospital　
much　better　than　this。　Was　it　because；　this　time；　it　wasn't　an　enemy　he'd　had　
to　protect　me　from？　
Because　it　was　his　brother？　
Maybe　it　would　be　better　if　he　took　me　away；　rather　than　his　family　being　
scattered。　I　grew　slightly　less　
depressed　as　I　considered　all　the　uninterrupted　alone　time。　If　he　could　just　
last　thro