3 eclipse月食-第55部分

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　We　glowered　at　each　other。　
　“You　wanted　to　know；”　I　pointed　out。　
　“I　thought　it　would　be　something　faintly　realistic。”　
　“So　you　can　ask　for　any　stupid；　ridiculous　thing　you　want　—　like　getting　married　—　but　I’m　not　allowed　
to　even　discuss　what　I　—”　
　While　I　was　ranting；　he　pulled　my　hands　together　to　restrain　them　in　just　one　of　his；　and　put　his　other　hand　
over　my　mouth。　
　“No。”　His　face　was　hard。　
　I　took　a　deep　breath　to　steady　myself。　And；　as　the　anger　began　to　fade；　I　felt　something　else。　
　It　took　me　a　minute　to　recognize　why　I　was　staring　down　again；　the　blush　returning　—　why　my　stomach　
felt　uneasy；　why　there　was　too　much　moisture　in　my　eyes；　why　I　suddenly　wanted　to　run　from　the　room。　
　Rejection　washed　through　me；　instinctive　and　strong。　
　I　knew　it　was　irrational。　He’d　been　very　clear　on　other　occasions　that　my　safety　was　the　only　factor。　Yet　
I’d　never　made　myself　quite　so　vulnerable　before。　I　scowled　at　the　golden　forter　that　matched　his　eyes　and　
tried　to　banish　the　reflex　reaction　that　told　me　I　was　unwanted　and　unwantable。　
　Edward　sighed。　The　hand　over　my　mouth　moved　under　my　chin；　and　he　pulled　my　face　up　until　I　had　to　
look　at　him。　
　“What　now？”　
　“Nothing；”　I　mumbled。　
　He　scrutinized　my　face　for　long　moment　while　I　tried　unsuccessfully　to　twist　away　from　his　gaze。　His　brow　
furrowed；　and　his　expression　became　horrified。　
　“Did　I　hurt　your　feelings？”　he　asked；　shocked。　
　“No；”　I　lied。　
　So　quickly　that　I　wasn’t　even　sure　how　it　happened；　I　was　in　his　arms；　my　face　cradled　between　his　
shoulder　and　his　hand；　while　his　thumb　stroked　reassuringly　against　my　cheek。　
　“You　know　why　I　have　to　say　no；”　he　murmured。　“You　know　that　I　want　you；　too。”　
　“Do　you？”　I　whispered；　my　voice　full　of　doubt。　

“Of　course　I　do；　you　silly；　beautiful；　oversensitive　girl。”　He　laughed　once；　and　then　his　voice　was　bleak。　
“Doesn’t　everyone？　I　feel　like　there’s　a　line　behind　me；　jockeying　for　position；　waiting　for　me　to　make　a　big　
enough　mistake。　。　。　。　You’re　too　desirable　for　your　own　good。”　
“Who’s　being　silly　now？”　I　doubted　if　awkward；　selfconscious；　and　inept　added　up　to　desirable　in　
anyone’s　book。　
“Do　I　have　to　send　a　petition　around　to　get　you　to　believe？　Shall　I　tell　you　whose　names　would　be　on　the　
top　of　the　list？　You　know　a　few　of　them；　but　some　might　surprise　you。”　
I　shook　my　head　against　his　chest；　grimacing。　“You’re　just　trying　to　distract　me。　Let’s　get　back　to　the　
subject。”　
He　sighed。　
“Tell　me　if　I　have　anything　wrong。”　I　tried　to　sound　detached。　“Your　demands　are　marriage”　—　I　couldn’t　
say　the　word　without　making　a　face　—　“paying　my　tuition；　more　time；　and　you　wouldn’t　mind　if　myvehicle　
went　a　little　faster。”　I　raised　my　eyebrows。　“Did　I　get　everything？　That’s　a　hefty　list。”　
“Only　the　first　is　a　demand。”　He　seemed　to　be　having　a　hard　time　keeping　a　straight　face。　“The　others　are　
merely　requests。”　
“And　my　lone；　solitary　little　demand　is　—”　
“Demand？”　he　interrupted；　suddenly　serious　again。　
“Yes；　demand。”　
His　eyes　narrowed。　
“Getting　married　is　a　stretch　for　me。　I’m　not　giving　in　unless　I　get　something　in　return。”　
He　leaned　down　to　whisper　in　my　ear。　“No；”　he　murmured　silkily。　“It’s　not　possible　now。　Later；　when　
you’re　less　breakable。　Be　patient；　Bella。”　
I　tried　to　keep　my　voice　firm　and　reasonable。　“But　that’s　the　problem。　It　won’t　be　the　same　when　I’m　less　
breakable。　I　won’t　be　the　same！　I　don’t　know　who　I’ll　be　then。”　
“You’ll　still　be　Bella；”　he　promised。　
I　frowned。　“If　I’m　so　far　gone　that　I’d　want　to　kill　Charlie　—　that　I’d　drink　Jacob’s　blood　or　Angela’s　if　I　
got　the　chance　—　how　can　that　be　true？”　
“It　will　pass。　And　I　doubt　you’ll　want　to　drink　the　dog’s　blood。”　He　pretended　to　shudder　at　the　thought。　
“Even　as　a　newborn；　you’ll　have　better　taste　than　that。”　
I　ignored　his　attempt　to　sidetrack　me。　“But　that　will　always　be　what　I　want　most；　won’t　it？”　I　challenged。　
“Blood；　blood；　and　more　blood！”　
“The　fact　that　you　are　still　alive　is　proof　that　that　is　not　true；”　he　pointed　out。　
“Over　eighty　years　later；”　I　reminded　him。　“What　I　meant　was　physically；　though。　Intellectually；　I　know　I’ll　
be　able　to　be　myself　。　。　。　after　a　while。　But　just　purely　physically　—　I　will　always　be　thirsty；　more　than　anything　
else。”　
He　didn’t　answer。　
“So　I　will　be　different；”　I　concluded　unopposed。　“Because　right　now；　physically；　there’s　nothing　I　want　
more　than　you。　More　than　food　or　water　or　oxygen。　Intellectually；　I　have　my　priorities　in　a　slightly　more　
sensible　order。　But　physically　。　。　。”　
I　twisted　my　head　to　kiss　the　palm　of　his　hand。　
He　took　a　deep　breath。　I　was　surprised　that　it　sounded　a　little　unsteady。　
“Bella；　I　could　kill　you；”　he　whispered。　
“I　don’t　think　you　could。”　
Edward’s　eyes　tightened。　He　lifted　his　hand　from　my　face　and　reached　quickly　behind　himself　for　
something　I　couldn’t　see。　There　was　a　muffled　snapping　sound；　and　the　bed　quivered　beneath　us。　
Something　dark　was　in　his　hand；　he　held　it　up　for　my　curious　examination。　It　was　a　metal　flower；　one　of　the　
roses　that　adorned　the　wrought　iron　posts　and　canopy　of　his　bed　frame。　His　hand　closed　for　a　brief　second；　
his　fingers　contracting　gently；　and　then　it　opened　again。　
Without　a　word；　he　offered　me　the　crushed；　uneven　lump　of　black　metal。　It　was　a　cast　of　the　inside　of　his　
hand；　like　a　piece　of　play　dough　squeezed　in　a　child’s　fist。　A　halfsecond　passed；　and　the　shape　crumbled　into　
black　sand　in　his　palm。　
I　glared。　“That’s　not　what　I　meant。　I　already　know　how　strong　you　are。　You　didn’t　have　to　break　the　

furniture。”　
“What　did　you　mean　then？”　he　asked　in　a　dark　voice；　tossing　the　handful　of　iron　sand　to　the　corner　of　the　
room；　it　hit　the　wall　with　a　sound　like　rain。　
His　eyes　were　intent　on　my　face　as　I　struggled　to　explain。　
“Obviously　not　that　you　aren’t　physically　able　hurt　me；　if　you　wanted　to　。　。　。　More　that；　you　don’t　want　to　
hurt　me　。　。　。　so　much　so　that　I　don’t　think　that　you　ever　could。”　
He　started　shaking　his　head　before　I　was　done。　
“It　might　not　work　like　that；　Bella。”　
“Might；”　I　scoffed。　“You　have　no　more　idea　what　you’re　talking　about　than　I　do。”　
“Exactly。　Do　you　imagine　I　would　ever　take　that　kind　of　risk　with　you？”　
I　stared　into　his　eyes　for　a　long　minute。　There　was　no　sign　of　promise；　no　hint　of　indecision　in　them。　
“Please；”　I　finally　whispered；　hopeless。　“It’s　all　I　want。　Please。”　I　closed　my　eyes　in　defeat；　waiting　for　the　
quick　and　final　no。　
But　he　didn’t　answer　immediately。　I　hesitated　in　disbelief；　stunned　to　hear　that　his　breathing　was　uneven　
again。　
I　opened　my　eyes；　and　his　face　was　torn。　
“Please？”　I　whispered　again；　my　heartbeat　picking　up　speed。　My　words　tumbled　out　as　I　rushed　to　take　
advantage　of　the　sudden　uncertainty　in　his　eyes。　“You　don’t　have　to　make　me　any　guarantees。　If　it　doesn’t　
work　out　right；　well；　then　that’s　that。　Just　let　us　try　。　。　。　only　try。　And　I’ll　give　you　what　you　want；”　I　promised　
rashly。　“I’ll　marry　you。　I’ll　let　you　pay　for　Dartmouth；　and　I　won’t　plain　about　the　bribe　to　get　me　in。　You　
can　even　buy　me　a　fast　car　if　that　makes　you　happy！　Just　。　。　。　please。”　
His　icy　arms　tightened　around　me；　and　his　lips　were　at　my　ear；　his　cool　breath　made　me　shiver。　“Thisis　
unbearable。　So　many　things　I’ve　wanted　to　give　you　—　and　this　is　what　you　decide　to　demand。　Do　you　have　
any　idea　how　painful　it　is；　trying　to　refuse　you　when　you　plead　with　me　this　way？”　
“Then　don’t　refuse；”　I　suggested　breathlessly。　
He　didn’t　respond。　
“Please；”　I　tried　again。　
“Bella　。　。　。”　He　shook　his　head　slowly；　but　it　didn’t　feel　like　a　denial　as　his　face；　his　lips；　moved　back　and　
forth　across　my　throat。　It　felt　more　like　surrender。　My　heart；　racing　already；　spluttered　frantically。　
Again；　I　took　what　advantage　I　could。　When　his　face　turned　toward　mine　with　the　slow　movement　of　his　
indecision；　I　twisted　quickly　in　his　arms　till　my　lips　reached　his。　His　hands　seized　my　face；　and　I　thought　he　was　
going　to　push　me　away　again。　
I　was　wrong。　
His　mouth　was　not　gentle；　there　was　a　brandnew　edge　of　conflict　and　desperation　in　the　way　his　lips　
moved。　I　locked　my　arms　around　his　neck；　and；　to　my　suddenly　overheated　skin；　his　body　felt　colder　than　
ever。　I　trembled；　but　it　was　not　from　the　chill。　
He　didn’t　stop　kissing　me。　I　was　the　one　who　had　to　break　away；　gasping　for　air。　Even　then　his　lips　did　
not　leave　my　skin；　they　just　moved　to　my　throat。　The　thrill　of　victory　was　a　strange　high；　it　made　me　feel　
powerful。　Brave。　My　hands　weren’t　unsteady　now；　I　got　through　with　the　buttons　on　his　shirt　this　time　easily；　
and　my　fingers　traced　the　perfect　planes　of　his　icy　chest。　He　was　too　beautiful。　What　was　the　word　he’d　used　
just　now？　Unbearable　—　that　was　it。　His　beauty　was　too　much　to　bear。　。　。　。　
I　pulled　his　mouth　back　to　mine；　and　he　seemed　just　as　eager　as　I　was。　One　of　his　hands　still　cupped　my　
face；　his　other　arm　was　tight　around　my　waist；　straining　me　closer　to　him。　It　made　it　slightly　more　difficult　as　I　
tried　to　reach　the　front　of　my　shirt；　but　not　impossible。　
Cold　iron　fetters　locked　around　my　wrists；　and　pulled　my　hands　above　my　head；　which　was　suddenly　on　a　
pillow。　
His　lips　were　at　my　ear　again。　“Bella；”　he　murmured；　his　voice　warm　and　velvet。　“Would　you　please　stop　
trying　to　take　your　clothes　off？”　
“Do　you　want　to　do　that　part？”　I　asked；　confused。　
“Not　tonight；”　he　answered　softly。　His　lips　were　slower　now　against　my　cheek　and　jaw；　all　the　urgency　
gone。　
“Edward；　don’t　—；”　I　started　to　argue。　

“I’m　not　saying　no；”　he　reassured　me。　“I’m　just　saying　not　tonight。”　
I　thought　about　that　while　my　breathing　slowed。　
“Give　me　one　good　reason　why　tonight　is　not　as　good　as　any　other　night。”　I　was　still　breathless；　it　made　
the　frustration　in　my　voice　less　impressive。　
“I　wasn’t　born　yesterday。”　He　chuckled　inmy　ear。　“Out　of　the　two　of　us；　which　do　you　think　is　more　
unwilling　to　give　the　other　what　they　want？　You　just　promised　to　marry　me　before　you　do　any　changing；　but　if　
I　give　in　tonight；　what　guarantee　do　I　have　that　you　won’t　go　running　off　to　Carlisle　in　the　morning？　I　am　—　
clearly　—　much　less　reluctant　to　give　you　what　you　want。　Therefore　。　。　。　you　first。”　
I　exhaled　with　a　loud　huff。　“I　have　to　marry　you　first？”　I　asked　in　disbelief。　
“That’s　the　deal　—　take　it　or　leave　it。　promise；　remember？”　
His　arms　wrapped　around　me；　and　he　began　kissing　me　in　a　way　that　should　be　illegal。　Too　persuasive　—　
it　was　duress；　coercion。　I　tried　to　keep　a　clear　head　。　。　。　and　failed　quickly　and　absolutely。　
“I　think　that’s　a　really　bad　idea；”　I　gasped　when　he　let　me　breathe。　
“I’m　not　surprised　you　feel　that　way。”　He　smirked。　“You　have　a　orack　mind。”　
“How　did　this　happen？”　I　grumbled。　“I　thought　I　was　holding　my　own　tonight　—　for　once　—　and　now；　all　
of　a　sudden　—”　
“You’re　engaged；”　he　finished。　
“Ew！　Please　don’t　say　that　out　loud。”　
“Are　you　going　back　on　your　word？”　he　demanded。　He　pulled　away　to　read　my　face。　His　expression　was　
entertained。　He　was　having　fun。　
I　glared　at　him；　trying　to　ignore　the　way　his　smi