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d　be　forced　to　kill　even　more　innocents　in　this　black　hour。　And　her　blood　would　cool；　while　I　murdered　the　others。　The　scent　punished　me；　closing　my　throat　with　dry　aching　So　the　witnesses　first　then。　I　mapped　it　out　in　my　head。　I　was　in　the　middle　of　the　room；　the　furthest　row　in　the　back。　I　would　take　my　right　side　first。　I　could　snap　four　or　five　of　their　necks　per　second；　I　estimated。　It　would　not　be　noisy。　The　right　side　would　be　the　lucky　side；　they　would　not　see　me　ing。　Moving　around　the　front　and　back　up　the　left　side；　it　would　take　me；　at　most；　five　seconds　to　end　every　life　in　this　room。　Long　enough　for　Bella　Swan　to　see；　briefly；　what　was　ing　for　her。　Long　enough　for　her　to　feel　fear。　Long　enough；　maybe；　if　shock　didn　t　freeze　her　in　place；　for　her　to　work　up　a　scream。　One　soft　scream　that　would　not　bring　anyone　running。　I　took　a　deep　breath；　and　the　scent　was　a　fire　that　raced　through　my　dry　veins；　burning　out　from　my　chest　to　consume　every　better　impulse　that　I　was　capable　of。　She　was　just　turning　now。　me。　In　a　few　seconds；　she　would　sit　down　inches　away　from　The　monster　in　my　head　smiled　in　anticipation。　Someone　slammed　shut　a　folder　on　my　left。　I　didn　t　look　up　to　see　which　of　the　doomed　humans　it　was。　But　the　motion　sent　a　wave　of　ordinary；　unscented　air　wafting　across　my　face。　For　one　short　second；　I　was　able　to　think　clearly。　two　faces　in　my　head；　side　by　side。　In　that　precious　second；　I　saw　One　was　mine；　or　rather　had　been：　the　redeyed　monster　that　had　killed　so　many　people　that　I　d　stop　counting　their　numbers。　Rationalized；　justified　murders。　A　killer　of　killers；　a　killer　of　other；　less　powerful　monsters。　It　was　a　god　plex；　I　acknowledged　that　deciding　who　deserved　a　death　sentence。　It　was　a　promise　with　myself。　I　had　fed　on　human　blood；　but　only　by　the　loosest　definition。　My　victims　were；　in　their　various　dark　pastimes；　barely　more　human　than　I　was。　The　other　face　was　Carlisle　s。　There　was　no　resemblance　between　the　two　faces。　night。　They　were　bright　day　and　blackest　There　was　no　reason　for　there　to　be　a　resemblance。　Carlisle　was　not　my　father　in　the　basic　biological　sense。　We　shared　no　mon　features。　The　similarity　in　our　coloring　was　a　product　of　what　we　were；　every　vampire　had　the　same　ice　pale　skin。　The　similarity　in　the　color　of　our　eyes　was　another　matter　a　reflection　of　a　mutual　choice。　And　yet；　though　there　was　no　basis　for　a　resemblance；　I　d　imagined　that　my　face　had　begun　to　reflect　his；　to　an　extent；　in　the　last　seventyodd　years　that　I　had

embraced　his　choice　and　followed　in　his　steps。　My　features　had　not　changed；　but　it　seemed　to　me　like　some　of　his　wisdom　had　marked　my　expression；　that　a　little　of　his　passion　could　be　traced　in　the　shape　of　my　mouth；　and　hints　of　his　patience　were　evident　on　my　brow。　All　those　tiny　improvements　were　lost　in　the　face　of　the　monster。　In　a　few　moments；　there　would　be　nothing　left　in　me　that　would　reflect　the　years　I　d　spent　with　my　creator；　my　mentor；　my　father　in　all　the　ways　that　counted。　My　eyes　would　glow　red　as　a　devil　s；　all　likeness　would　be　lost　forever。　In　my　head；　Carlisle　s　kind　eyes　did　not　judge　me。　I　knew　that　he　would　forgive　me　for　this　horrible　act　that　I　would　do。　Because　he　loved　me。　Because　he　thought　I　was　better　than　I　was。　And　he　would　still　love　me；　even　as　I　now　proved　him　wrong。　Bella　Swan　sat　down　in　the　chair　next　to　me；　her　movements　stiff　and　awkward　with　fear？　and　the　scent　of　her　blood　bloomed　in　an　inexorable　cloud　around　me。　I　would　prove　my　father　wrong　about　me。　much　as　the　fire　in　my　throat。　The　misery　of　this　fact　hurt　almost　as　I　leaned　away　from　her　in　revulsion　revolted　by　the　monster　aching　to　take　her。　Why　did　she　have　to　e　here？　Why　did　she　have　to　exist？　Why　did　she　have　to　ruin　the　little　peace　I　had　in　this　nonlife　of　mine？　Why　had　this　aggravating　human　ever　been　born？　She　would　ruin　me。　I　turned　my　face　away　from　her；　as　a　sudden　fierce；　unreasoning　hatred　washed　through　me。　Who　was　this　creature？　Why　me；　why　now？　Why　did　I　have　to　lose　everything　just　because　she　happened　to　choose　this　unlikely　town　to　appear　in？　Why　had　she　e　here！　I　didn　t　want　to　be　the　monster！　I　didn　t　want　to　kill　this　room　full　of　harmless　children！　I　didn　t　want　to　lose　everything　I　d　gained　in　a　lifetime　of　sacrifice　and　denial！　I　wouldn　t。　She　couldn　t　make　me。　The　scent　was　the　problem；　the　hideously　appealing　scent　of　her　blood。　If　there　was　only　some　way　to　resist　if　only　another　gust　of　fresh　air　could　clear　my　head。　Bella　Swan　shook　out　her　long；　thick；　mahogany　hair　in　my　direction。　Was　she　insane？　It　was　as　if　she　were　encouraging　the　monster！　Taunting　him。　All　would　soon　There　was　no　friendly　breeze　to　blow　the　smell　away　from　me　now。　be　lost。　No；　there　was　no　helpful　breeze。　But　I　didn　t　have　to　breathe。　I　stopped　the　flow　of　air　through　my　lungs；　the　relief　was　instantaneous；　but　inplete。　I　still　had　the　memory　of　the　scent　in　my　head；　the　taste　of　it　on　the　back　of　my　tongue。　I　wouldn　t　be　able　to　resist　even　that　for　long。　But　perhaps　I　could　resist　for　an　hour。　One　hour。　Just　enough　time　to　get　out　of

this　room　full　of　victims；　victims　that　maybe　didn　t　have　to　be　victims。　could　resist　for　one　short　hour。　If　I　It　was　an　unfortable　feeling；　not　breathing。　My　body　did　not　need　oxygen；　but　it　went　against　my　instincts。　I　relied　on　scent　more　than　my　other　senses　in　times　of　stress。　It　led　the　way　in　the　hunt；　it　was　the　first　warning　in　case　of　danger。　I　did　not　often　came　across　something　as　dangerous　as　I　was；　but　selfpreservation　was　just　as　strong　in　my　kind　as　it　was　in　the　average　human。　Unfortable；　but　manageable。　More　bearable　than　smelling　her　and　not　sinking　my　teeth　through　that　fine；　thin；　seethrough　skin　to　the　hot；　wet；　pulsing　An　hour！　Just　one　hour。　I　must　not　think　of　the　scent；　the　taste。　The　silent　girl　kept　her　hair　between　us；　leaning　forward　so　that　it　spilled　across　her　folder。　I　couldn　t　see　her　face；　to　try　to　read　the　emotions　in　her　clear；　deep　eyes。　Was　this　why　she　d　let　her　tresses　fan　out　between　us？　To　hide　those　eyes　from　me？　Out　of　fear？　Shyness？　To　keep　her　secrets　from　me？　My　former　irritation　at　being　stymied　by　her　soundless　thoughts　was　weak　and　pale　in　parison　to　the　need　and　the　hate　that　possessed　me　now。　For　I　hated　this　frail　womanchild　beside　me；　hated　her　with　all　the　fervor　with　which　I　clung　to　my　former　self；　my　love　of　my　family；　my　dreams　of　being　something　better　than　what　I　was　Hating　her；　hating　how　she　made　me　feel　it　helped　a　little。　Yes；　the　irritation　I　d　felt　before　was　weak；　but　it；　too；　helped　a　little。　I　clung　to　any　emotion　that　distracted　me　from　imagining　what　she　would　taste　like　Hate　and　irritation。　Impatience。　Would　the　hour　never　pass？　And　I　would　do　And　when　the　hour　ended　what？　I　could　introduce　myself。　your　next　class？　Then　she　would　walk　out　of　this　room。　Hello；　my　name　is　Edward　Cullen。　May　I　walk　you　to　She　would　say　yes。　It　would　be　the　polite　thing　to　do。　Even　already　fearing　me；　as　I　suspected　she　did；　she　would　follow　convention　and　walk　beside　me。　It　should　be　easy　enough　to　lead　her　in　the　wrong　direction。　A　spur　of　the　forest　reached　out　like　a　finger　to　touch　the　back　corner　of　the　parking　lot。　I　could　tell　her　I　d　forgotten　a　book　in　my　car　Would　anyone　notice　that　I　was　the　last　person　she　d　been　seen　with？　It　was　raining；　as　usual；　two　dark　raincoats　heading　the　wrong　direction　wouldn　t　pique　too　much　interest；　or　give　me　away。　Except　that　I　was　not　the　only　student　who　was　aware　of　her　today　though　no　one　was　as　blisteringly　aware　as　I　was。　Mike　Newton；　in　particular；　was　conscious　of　every　shift　in　her　weight　as　she　fidgeted　in　her　chair　she　was　unfortable　so　close　to　me；　just　as　anyone　would　be；　just　as　I　d　expected　before　her　scent　had　destroyed　all　charitable　concern。　Mike　Newton　would　notice　if　she　left　the　classroom　with　me。　If　I　could　last　an　hour；　could　I　last　two？

I　flinched　at　the　pain　of　the　burning。　She　would　go　home　to　his　house；　as　I　knew　against　thick　woods；　which　she　would　not；　an　empty　house。　Police　Chief　Swan　worked　a　full　day。　I　knew　every　house　in　the　tiny　town。　His　home　was　nestled　right　up　with　no　close　neighbors。　Even　if　she　had　time　to　scream；　there　would　be　no　one　to　hear。　That　would　be　the　responsible　way　to　deal　with　this。　I　d　gone　seven　decades　without　human　blood。　If　I　held　my　breath；　I　could　last　two　hours。　And　when　I　had　her　alone；　there　would　be　no　chance　of　anyone　else　getting　hurt。　And　no　reason　to　rush　through　the　experience；　the　monster　in　my　head　agreed。　It　was　sophistry　to　think　that　by　saving　the　nieen　humans　in　this　room　with　effort　and　patience；　I　would　be　less　a　monster　when　I　killed　this　innocent　girl。　Though　I　hated　her；　I　knew　my　hatred　was　unjust。　I　knew　that　what　I　really　hated　was　myself。　And　I　would　hate　us　both　so　much　more　when　she　was　dead。　I　made　it　through　the　hour　in　this　way　imagining　the　best　ways　to　kill　her。　I　tried　to　avoid　imagining　the　actual　act。　That　might　be　too　much　for　me；　I　might　lose　this　battle　and　end　up　killing　everyone　in　sight。　So　I　planned　strategy；　and　nothing　more。　It　carried　me　through　the　hour。　Once；　toward　the　I　could　feel　the　reflection　of　it　hide　in　her　hair　again；　and　I　was　very　end；　she　peeked　up　at　me　through　the　fluid　wall　of　her　hair。　unjustified　hatred　burning　out　of　me　as　I　met　her　gaze　see　the　in　her　frightened　eyes。　Blood　painted　her　cheek　before　she　could　nearly　undone。　But　the　bell　rang。　Saved　by　the　bell　how　clich　。　We　were　both　saved。　She；　saved　from　death。　I；　saved　for　just　a　short　time　from　being　the　nightmarish　creature　I　feared　and　loathed。　I　couldn　t　walk　as　slowly　as　I　should　as　I　darted　from　the　room。　If　anyone　had　been　looking　at　me；　they　might　have　suspected　that　there　was　something　not　right　about　the　way　I　moved。　No　one　was　paying　attention　to　me。　All　human　thoughts　still　swirled　around　the　girl　who　was　condemned　to　die　in　little　more　than　an　hour　s　time。　I　hid　in　my　car。　I　didn　t　like　to　think　of　myself　having　to　hide。　it　was　unquestionably　the　case　now。　How　cowardly　that　sounded。　But　I　didn　t　have　enough　discipline　left　to　be　around　humans　now。　Focusing　so　much　of　my　efforts　on　not　killing　one　of　them　left　me　no　resources　to　resist　the　others。　What　a　waste　that　would　be。　If　I　were　to　give　in　to　the　monster；　I　might　as　well　make　it　worth　the　defeat。　I　played　a　CD　of　music　that　usually　calmed　me；　but　it　did　little　for　me　now。　No；　what　helped　most　now　was　the　cool；　wet；　clean　air　that　drifted　with　the　light　rain　through　my　open　windows。　Though　I　could　remember　the　scent　of　Bella　Swan　s　blood　with　perfect　clarity；　inhaling　the　clean　air　was　like　washing　out　the　inside　of　my　body　from　its　infection。　I　was　sane　again。　I　could　think　again。　against　what　I　didn　t　want　to　be。　And　I　could　fight　again。　I　could　fight

I　didn　t　have　to　go　to　her　home。　I　didn　t　have　to　kill　her。　Obviously；　I　was　a　rational；　thinking　creature；　and　I　had　a　choice。　There　was　always　a　choice。　It　hadn　t　felt　that　way　in　the　classroom　but　I　was　away　from　her　now。　Perhaps；　if　I　avoided　her　very；　very　carefully；　there　was　no　need　for　my　life　to　change。　I　had　things　ordered　the　way　I　liked　them　now。　Why　should　I　let　some　aggravating　and　delicious　nobody　ruin　that？　I　didn　t　have　to　disappoint　my　father。　I　didn　t　have　to　cause　my　mother　stress；　worry　pain。　Yes；　it　would　hurt　my　adopt