5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第43部分

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ently。　I　wanted　to　be　sure　that　Ben　was　clear　on　this。　Angela　s　shy。　If　B　well；　if　a　guy　doesn　t　have　the　nerve　to　ask　her　out；　she　d　never　ask　him。　You　like　shy　girls；　Emmett　said；　back　to　improvisation。　like　hmm；　I　don　t　know。　Maybe　Bella　Swan？　I　grinned　at　him。　Exactly。　Quiet　girls。　Girls　Then　I　returned　to　the　performance。　Maybe　Angela

will　get　tired　of　waiting。　Maybe　I　ll　ask　her　to　the　prom。　No；　you　won　t；　Ben　thought；　straightening　up　in　his　chair。　So　what　if　she　s　so　much　taller　than　me？　If　she　doesn　t　care；　then　neither　do　I。　She　s　the　nicest；　smartest；　prettiest　girl　in　this　school　and　she　wants　me。　I　liked　this　Ben。　like　Angela。　He　seemed　bright　and　wellmeaning。　Maybe　even　worthy　of　a　girl　I　gave　Emmett　a　thumbs　up　under　the　desk　as　Mrs。　Goff　stood　and　greeted　the　class。　Okay；　I　ll　admit　it　that　was　sort　of　fun；　Emmett　thought。　I　smiled　to　myself；　pleased　that　I　d　been　able　to　shape　one　love　story　s　happy　ending。　I　was　positive　that　Ben　would　follow　through；　and　Angela　would　receive　my　anonymous　gift。　My　debt　was　repaid。　How　silly　humans　were；　to　let　a　six　inch　height　differential　confound　their　happiness。　My　success　put　me　in　a　good　mood。　I　smiled　again　as　I　settled　into　my　chair　and　prepared　to　be　entertained。　After　all；　as　Bella　had　pointed　out　at　lunch；　I　d　never　seen　her　in　action　in　her　gym　class　before。　Mike　s　thoughts　were　the　easiest　to　pinpoint　in　the　babble　of　voices　that　swarmed　through　the　gym。　His　mind　had　gotten　far　too　familiar　over　the　last　few　weeks。　With　a　sigh；　I　resigned　myself　to　listening　through　him。　At　least　I　could　be　sure　that　he　would　be　paying　attention　to　Bella。　I　was　just　in　time　to　hear　him　offer　to　be　her　badminton　partner；　as　he　made　the　suggestion；　other　partnerings　ran　through　his　mind。　My　smile　faded；　my　teeth　clenched　together；　and　I　had　to　remind　myself　that　murdering　Mike　Newton　was　not　a　permissible　option。　Thanks；　Mike　you　don　t　have　to　do　this；　you　know。　Don　t　worry；　I　ll　keep　out　of　your　way。　They　grinned　at　each　other；　and　flashes　of　numerous　accidents　always　in　some　way　connected　to　Bella　flashed　through　Mike　s　head。　Mike　played　alone　at　first；　while　Bella　hesitated　on　the　back　half　of　the　court；　holding　her　racket　gingerly；　as　if　it　was　some　kind　of　weapon。　Then　Coach　Clapp　ambled　by　and　ordered　Mike　to　let　Bella　play。　Uh　oh；　Mike　thought　as　Bella　moved　forward　with　a　sigh；　holding　her　racquet　at　an　awkward　angle。　Jennifer　Ford　served　the　birdie　directly　toward　Bella　with　a　smug　twist　to　her　thoughts。　Mike　saw　Bella　lurch　toward　it；　swinging　the　racket　yards　wide　of　her　target；　and　he　rushed　in　to　try　to　save　the　volley。　I　watched　the　trajectory　of　Bella　s　racquet　with　alarm。　Sure　enough；　it　hit　the　taut　　and　sprung　back　at　her；　clipping　her　forehead　before　it　spun　out　to　strike　Mike　s　arm　with　a　resounding　thwack。　Ow。　Ow。　Ungh。　That　s　going　to　leave　a　bruise。

Bella　was　kneading　her　forehead。　It　was　hard　to　stay　in　my　seat　where　I　belonged；　knowing　she　was　hurt。　But　what　could　I　do；　if　I　were　there？　And　it　didn　t　seem　to　be　serious　I　hesitated；　watching。　If　she　intended　to　continue　to　try　to　play；　I　was　going　to　have　to　manufacture　an　excuse　to　pull　her　out　of　class。　The　coach　laughed。　Sorry；　Newton。　Shouldn　t　inflict　her　on　the　others　That　girl　s　the　worst　jinx　I　ve　ever　seen。　He　turned　his　back　deliberately　and　moved　to　watch　another　game　so　that　Bella　could　return　to　her　former　spectator　s　role。　Ow；　Mike　thought　again；　massaging　his　arm。　He　turned　to　Bella。　Are　you　okay？　Yeah；　are　you？　she　asked　sheepishly；　blushing。　I　think　I　ll　make　it。　hurts！　Don　t　want　to　sound　like　a　crybaby。　But；　man；　that　Mike　swung　his　arm　in　a　circle；　wincing。　I　ll　just　stay　back　here；　Bella　said；　embarrassment　and　chagrin　on　her　face　rather　than　pain。　Maybe　Mike　had　got　the　worst　of　it。　I　certainly　hoped　that　was　the　case。　At　least　she　wasn　t　playing　anymore。　She　held　her　racquet　so　carefully　behind　her　back；　her　eyes　wide　with　remorse　I　had　to　disguise　my　laugh　as　coughing。　What　s　funny？　Emmett　wanted　to　know。　Tell　you　later；　I　muttered。　Bella　didn　t　venture　into　the　game　again。　alone。　The　coach　ignored　her　and　let　Mike　play　I　breezed　through　the　quiz　at　the　end　of　the　hour；　and　Mrs。　Goff　let　me　go　early。　I　was　listening　intently　to　Mike　as　I　walked　across　the　campus。　He　d　decided　to　confront　Bella　about　me。　Jessica　swears　they　re　dating。　Why？　Why　did　he　have　to　pick　her？　He　didn　t　recognize　the　real　phenomenon　that　she　d　picked　me。　So。　So　what？　she　wondered。　You　and　Cullen；　huh？　important　to　you。。。　You　and　the　freak。　I　guess；　if　a　rich　guy　is　that　I　gritted　my　teeth　at　his　degrading　assumption。　That　s　none　of　your　business；　Mike。　Defensive。　So　it　s　true。　Crap。　I　don　t　like　it。　You　don　t　have　to；　she　snapped。　Why　can　t　she　see　what　a　circus　sideshow　he　is？　Like　they　all　are。　The　way　he

stares　at　her。　It　gives　me　chills　to　watch。　something　to　eat。　I　cringed；　waiting　for　her　response。　He　looks　at　you　like　like　you　re　Her　face　turned　bright　red；　and　her　lips　pressed　together　like　she　was　holding　her　breath。　Then；　suddenly；　a　giggle　burst　through　her　lips。　Now　she　s　laughing　at　me。　Great。　Mike　turned；　thoughts　sullen；　and　wandered　off　to　change。　I　leaned　against　the　gym　wall　and　tried　to　pose　myself。　How　could　she　have　laughed　at　Mike　s　accusation　so　entirely　on　target　that　I　began　to　worry　that　Forks　was　being　too　aware　Why　would　she　laugh　at　the　suggestion　that　I　could　kill　her；　when　she　knew　that　it　was　entirely　true？　Where　was　the　humor　in　that？　What　was　wrong　with　her？　Did　she　have　morbid　sense　of　humor？　That　didn　t　fit　with　my　idea　of　her　character；　but　how　could　I　be　sure？　Or　maybe　my　daydream　of　the　giddy　angel　was　true　in　the　one　respect；　in　that　she　had　no　sense　of　fear　at　all。　Brave　that　was　one　word　for　it。　Others　might　say　stupid；　but　I　knew　how　bright　she　was。　No　matter　what　the　reason；　though；　this　lack　of　fear　or　twisted　sense　of　humor　wasn　t　good　for　her。　Was　it　this　strange　lack　that　put　her　in　danger　so　constantly？　Maybe　she　would　always　need　me　here　Just　like　that；　my　mood　was　soaring。　If　I　could　just　discipline　myself；　make　myself　safe；　then　perhaps　it　would　be　right　for　me　to　stay　with　her。　When　she　walked　through　the　gym　doors；　her　shoulders　were　stiff　and　her　lower　lip　was　between　her　teeth　again　a　sign　of　anxiety。　But　as　soon　as　her　eyes　met　mine；　her　rigid　shoulders　relaxed　and　a　wide　smile　spread　across　her　face。　It　was　an　oddly　peaceful　expression。　She　walked　right　to　my　side　without　hesitation；　only　stopping　when　she　was　so　close　that　her　body　heat　crashed　over　me　like　a　tidal　wave。　Hi；　she　whispered。　The　happiness　I　felt　in　this　moment　was；　again；　without　precedent。　Hello；　I　said；　and　then　because　with　my　mood　suddenly　so　light　I　couldn　t　resist　teasing　her　I　added；　How　was　gym？　Her　smile　wavered。　Fine。　She　was　a　poor　liar。　Really？　I　asked；　about　to　press　the　issue　I　was　still　concerned　about　her　head；　was　she　in　pain？　but　then　Mike　Newton　s　thoughts　we　so　loud　they　broke　my　concentration。　I　hate　him。　I　wish　he　would　die。　I　hope　he　drives　that　shiny　car　right　off　a　cliff。　Why　couldn　t　he　just　leave　her　alone？　Stick　to　his　own　kind　to　the　freaks。

What？　Bella　demanded。　My　eyes　refocused　on　her　face。　me　again。　She　looked　at　Mike　s　retreating　back；　and　then　at　Newton　s　getting　on　my　nerves；　I　admitted。　Her　mouth　fell　open；　and　her　smile　disappeared。　She　must　have　forgotten　that　I　d　had　the　power　to　watch　through　her　calamitous　last　hour；　or　hoped　that　I　hadn　t　utilized　it。　You　weren　t　listening　again？　How　s　your　head？　You　re　unbelievable！　she　said　through　her　teeth；　and　then　she　turned　away　from　me　and　stalked　furiously　toward　the　parking　lot。　Her　skin　flushed　dark　red　she　was　embarrassed。　I　kept　pace　with　her；　hoping　that　her　anger　would　pass　soon。　quick　to　forgive　me。　She　was　usually　It　You　were　the　one　who　mentioned　how　I　d　never　seen　you　in　Gym；　I　explained。　made　me　curious。　She　didn　t　answer；　her　eyebrows　pulled　together。　She　came　to　a　sudden　halt　in　the　parking　lot　when　she　realized　that　the　way　to　my　car　was　blocked　by　a　crowd　of　male　students。　I　wonder　how　fast　they　ve　gone　in　this　thing　Look　at　the　SMG　shift　paddles。　side　grills　I　ve　never　seen　those　outside　of　a　magazine　Nice　Sure　wish　I　had　sixty　thousand　dollars　laying　around　This　was　exactly　why　it　was　better　for　Rosalie　to　only　use　her　car　out　of　town。　I　wound　through　the　throng　of　lustful　boys　to　my　car；　after　a　second　of　hesitation；　Bella　followed　suit。　Ostentatious；　I　muttered　as　she　climbed　in。　What　kind　of　car　is　that？　she　wondered。　An　M3。　She　frowned。　I　don　t　speak　Car　and　Driver。　It　s　a　BMW。　I　rolled　my　eyes　and　then　focused　on　backing　out　without　running　anyone　down。　I　had　to　lock　eyes　with　a　few　boys　that　didn　t　seem　willing　to　move　out　of　my　way。　A　halfsecond　meeting　my　gaze　seemed　to　be　enough　to　convince　them。　Are　you　still　angry？　I　asked　her。　Her　frown　had　relaxed。

Definitely；　she　answered　curtly。　I　sighed。　Maybe　I　shouldn　t　have　brought　it　up。　Oh　well。　amends；　I　supposed。　Will　you　forgive　me　if　I　apologize？　She　thought　about　that　for　a　moment。　you　promise　not　to　do　it　again。　I　could　try　to　make　Maybe　if　you　mean　it；　she　decided。　And　if　I　wasn　t　going　to　lie　to　her；　and　there　was　no　way　I　was　agreeing　to　that。　Perhaps　if　I　offered　her　a　different　exchange。　How　about　if　I　mean　it；　and　I　agree　to　let　you　drive　this　Saturday？　internally　at　the　thought。　I　cringed　The　furrow　popped　into　existence　between　her　eyes　as　she　considered　the　new　bargain。　Deal；　she　said　after　a　moment　of　thought。　Now　for　my　apology　I　d　never　tried　to　dazzle　Bella　on　purpose　before；　but　now　seemed　like　a　good　time。　I　stared　deep　into　her　eyes　as　I　drove　away　from　the　school；　wondering　if　I　was　doing　it　right。　I　used　my　most　persuasive　tone。　Then　I　m　very　sorry　I　upset　you。　Her　heartbeat　thudded　louder　than　before；　and　the　rhythm　was　abruptly　staccato。　Her　eyes　widened；　looking　a　little　stunned。　I　halfsmiled。　It　seemed　like　I　d　gotten　it　right。　Of　course；　I　was　having　a　bit　of　difficulty　looking　away　from　her　eyes；　too。　Equally　dazzled。　It　was　a　good　thing　I　had　this　road　memorized。　And　I　ll　be　on　your　doorstep　bright　and　early　Saturday　morning；　I　added；　finishing　the　agreement。　She　blinked　swiftly；　shaking　her　head　as　if　to　clear　it。　Um；　she　said；　it　doesn　t　help　with　the　Charlie　situation　if　an　unexplained　Volvo　is　left　in　the　driveway。　Ah；　how　little　she　still　knew　me。　How　she　started　to　ask。　I　interrupted　her。　The　answer　would　be　hard　to　explain　without　a　demonstration；　and　now　was　hardly　the　time。　Don　t　worry　about　it。　I　ll　be　there；　no　car。　She　put　her　head　on　one　side；　and　looked　for　a　second　like　she　was　going　to　press　for　more；　but　then　she　seemed　to　change　her　mind。　Is　it　later　yet？　she　asked；　reminding　me　of　our　unfinished　conversation　in　the　cafeteria　today；　she　d　let　go　of　one　difficult　question　just　to　return　another　that　was　more　unappealing。　I　suppose　it　is　later；　I　agreed　unwillingly。　I　parked　in　front　of　her　house；　tensing　as　I　tried　to　think　of　how　to　explain　without　making　my　monstrous　nature　too　evident；　without　frightening　her　again。　Or　was　that　wrong？　To　minimalize　my　darkness？　She　waited　with　the　same　politely　interested　mask　she　d　worn　at　lunch。　been　less　anxious；　her　preposterous　calm　would　have　made　me　laugh。　If　I　d　I　wasn　t　intending　to　bring　a　car。

And　you　still　want　to　know　why　you　can　t　s