[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第67部分

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brother；　apparently　forgot　her　presence。　She　must　have　
counted　upon　his　support　more　than　she　realized；　for　
this　indifference；　emphasized；　as　it　was；　by　the　insignificant　
monplace　of　his　surroundings；　awoke　her；　not　
only　to　that　ugliness；　but　to　her　own　folly。　She　thought　
of　one　scene　after　another　in　a　few　seconds；　with　that　
shudder　which　is　almost　a　blush。　She　had　believed　him　
when　he　spoke　of　friendship。　She　had　believed　in　a　spiritual　
light　burning　steadily　and　steadfastly　behind　the　
erratic　disorder　and　incoherence　of　life。　The　light　was　
now　gone　out；　suddenly；　as　if　a　sponge　had　blotted　it。　
The　litter　of　the　table　and　the　tedious　but　exacting　conversation　
of　Mrs。　Denham　remained：　they　struck；　indeed；　
upon　a　mind　bereft　of　all　defences；　and；　keenly　conscious　
of　the　degradation　which　is　the　result　of　strife　whether　
victorious　or　not；　she　thought　gloomily　of　her　loneliness；　
of　life’s　futility；　of　the　barren　prose　of　reality；　of　William　

Rodney；　of　her　mother；　and　the　unfinished　book。　

Her　answers　to　Mrs。　Denham　were　perfunctory　to　the　
verge　of　rudeness；　and　to　Ralph；　who　watched　her　narrowly；　
she　seemed　further　away　than　was　patible　with　
her　physical　closeness。　He　glanced　at　her；　and　ground　out　
further　steps　in　his　argument；　determined　that　no　folly　
should　remain　when　this　experience　was　over。　Next　moment；　
a　silence；　sudden　and　plete；　descended　upon　
them　all。　The　silence　of　all　these　people　round　the　untidy　
table　was　enormous　and　hideous；　something　horrible　
seemed　about　to　burst　from　it；　but　they　endured　it　obstinately。　
A　second　later　the　door　opened　and　there　was　a　
stir　of　relief；　cries　of　“Hullo；　Joan！　There’s　nothing　left　
for　you　to　eat；”　broke　up　the　oppressive　concentration　of　
so　many　eyes　upon　the　tablecloth；　and　set　the　waters　of　
family　life　dashing　in　brisk　little　waves　again。　It　was　
obvious　that　Joan　had　some　mysterious　and　beneficent　
power　upon　her　family。　She　went　up　to　Katharine　as　if　
she　had　heard　of　her；　and　was　very　glad　to　see　her　at　last。　
She　explained　that　she　had　been　visiting　an　uncle　who　
was　ill；　and　that　had　kept　her。　No；　she　hadn’t　had　any　

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Night　and　Day　

tea；　but　a　slice　of　bread　would　do。　Some　one　handed　up　a　
hot　cake；　which　had　been　keeping　warm　in　the　fender；　
she　sat　down　by　her　mother’s　side；　Mrs。　Denham’s　anxieties　
seemed　to　relax；　and　every　one　began　eating　and　
drinking；　as　if　tea　had　begun　over　again。　Hester　voluntarily　
explained　to　Katharine　that　she　was　reading　to　pass　
some　examination；　because　she　wanted　more　than　anything　
in　the　whole　world　to　go　to　Newnham。　

“Now；　just　let　me　hear　you　decline　‘amo’—I　love；”　
Johnnie　demanded。　

“No；　Johnnie；　no　Greek　at　mealtimes；”　said　Joan；　overhearing　
him　instantly。　“She’s　up　at　all　hours　of　the　night　
over　her　books；　Miss　Hilbery；　and　I’m　sure　that’s　not　the　
way　to　pass　examinations；”　she　went　on；　smiling　at　
Katharine；　with　the　worried　humorous　smile　of　the　elder　
sister　whose　younger　brothers　and　sisters　have　bee　
almost　like　children　of　her　own。　

“Joan；　you　don’t　really　think　that　‘amo’　is　Greek？”　Ralph　
asked。　

“Did　I　say　Greek？　Well；　never　mind。　No　dead　languages　at　teatime。　
My　dear　boy；　don’t　trouble　to　make　me　any　toast—”　

“Or　if　you　do；　surely　there’s　the　toastingfork　somewhere？”　
said　Mrs。　Denham；　still　cherishing　the　belief　that　the　breadknife　
could　be　spoilt。　“Do　one　of　you　ring　and　ask　for　one；”　
she　said；　without　any　conviction　that　she　would　be　obeyed。　
“But　is　Ann　ing　to　be　with　Uncle　Joseph？”　she　continued。　
“If　so；　surely　they　had　better　send　Amy　to　us—”　and　
in　the　mysterious　delight　of　learning　further　details　of　these　
arrangements；　and　suggesting　more　sensible　plans　of　her　
own；　which；　from　the　aggrieved　way　in　which　she　spoke；　
she　did　not　seem　to　expect　any　one　to　adopt；　Mrs。　Denham　
pletely　forgot　the　presence　of　a　welldressed　visitor；　
who　had　to　be　informed　about　the　amenities　of　Highgate。　
As　soon　as　Joan　had　taken　her　seat；　an　argument　had　
sprung　up　on　either　side　of　Katharine；　as　to　whether　the　
Salvation　Army　has　any　right　to　play　hymns　at　street　corners　
on　Sunday　mornings；　thereby　making　it　impossible　for　
James　to　have　his　sleep　out；　and　tampering　with　the　rights　
of　individual　liberty。　

“You　see；　James　likes　to　lie　in　bed　and　sleep　like　a　
hog；”　said　Johnnie；　explaining　himself　to　Katharine；　
whereupon　James　fired　up　and；　making　her　his　goal；　also　

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exclaimed：　

“Because　Sundays　are　my　one　chance　in　the　week　of　
having　my　sleep　out。　Johnnie　messes　with　stinking　chemicals　
in　the　pantry—”　

They　appealed　to　her；　and　she　forgot　her　cake　and　began　
to　laugh　and　talk　and　argue　with　sudden　animation。　
The　large　family　seemed　to　her　so　warm　and　various　that　
she　forgot　to　censure　them　for　their　taste　in　pottery。　But　
the　personal　question　between　James　and　Johnnie　merged　
into　some　argument　already；　apparently；　debated；　so　that　
the　parts　had　been　distributed　among　the　family；　in　which　
Ralph　took　the　lead；　and　Katharine　found　herself　opposed　
to　him　and　the　champion　of　Johnnie’s　cause；　who；　it　
appeared；　always　lost　his　head　and　got　excited　in　argument　
with　Ralph。　

“Yes；　yes；　that’s　what　I　mean。　She’s　got　it　right；”　he　
exclaimed；　after　Katharine　had　restated　his　case；　and　made　
it　more　precise。　The　debate　was　left　almost　solely　to　
Katharine　and　Ralph。　They　looked　into　each　other’s　eyes　
fixedly；　like　wrestlers　trying　to　see　what　movement　is　
ing　next；　and　while　Ralph　spoke；　Katharine　bit　her　

lower　lip；　and　was　always　ready　with　her　next　point　as　
soon　as　he　had　done。　They　were　very　well　matched；　and　
held　the　opposite　views。　

But　at　the　most　exciting　stage　of　the　argument；　for　no　
reason　that　Katharine　could　see；　all　chairs　were　pushed　
back；　and　one　after　another　the　Denham　family　got　up　
and　went　out　of　the　door；　as　if　a　bell　had　summoned　
them。　She　was　not　used　to　the　clockwork　regulations　of　a　
large　family。　She　hesitated　in　what　she　was　saying；　and　
rose。　Mrs。　Denham　and　Joan　had　drawn　together　and　stood　
by　the　fireplace；　slightly　raising　their　skirts　above　their　
ankles；　and　discussing　something　which　had　an　air　of　
being　very　serious　and　very　private。　They　appeared　to　
have　forgotten　her　presence　among　them。　Ralph　stood　
holding　the　door　open　for　her。　

“Won’t　you　e　up　to　my　room？”　he　said。　And　Katharine；　
glancing　back　at　Joan；　who　smiled　at　her　in　a　preoccupied　
way；　followed　Ralph　upstairs。　She　was　thinking　of　
their　argument；　and　when；　after　the　long　climb；　he　opened　
his　door；　she　began　at　once。　

“The　question　is；　then；　at　what　point　is　it　right　for　the　

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Night　and　Day　

individual　to　assert　his　will　against　the　will　of　the　State。”　

For　some　time　they　continued　the　argument；　and　then　
the　intervals　between　one　statement　and　the　next　became　
longer　and　longer；　and　they　spoke　more　speculatively　
and　less　pugnaciously；　and　at　last　fell　silent。　
Katharine　went　over　the　argument　in　her　mind；　remembering　
how；　now　and　then；　it　had　been　set　conspicuously　
on　the　right　course　by　some　remark　offered　either　by　
James　or　by　Johnnie。　

“Your　brothers　are　very　clever；”　she　said。　“I　suppose　
you’re　in　the　habit　of　arguing？”　

“James　and　Johnnie　will　go　on　like　that　for　hours；”　
Ralph　replied。　“So　will　Hester；　if　you　start　her　upon　Elizabethan　
dramatists。”　

“And　the　little　girl　with　the　pigtail？”　

“Molly？　She’s　only　ten。　But　they’re　always　arguing　among　
themselves。”　

He　was　immensely　pleased　by　Katharine’s　praise　of　his　
brothers　and　sisters。　He　would　have　liked　to　go　on　telling　
her　about　them；　but　he　checked　himself。　

“I　see　that　it　must　be　difficult　to　leave　them；”　Katharine　

continued。　His　deep　pride　in　his　family　was　more　evident　
to　him；　at　that　moment；　than　ever　before；　and　the　idea　of　
living　alone　in　a　cottage　was　ridiculous。　All　that　brotherhood　
and　sisterhood；　and　a　mon　childhood　in　a　mon　
past　mean；　all　the　stability；　the　unambitious　radeship；　
and　tacit　understanding　of　family　life　at　its　
best；　came　to　his　mind；　and　he　thought　of　them　as　a　
pany；　of　which　he　was　the　leader；　bound　on　a　difficult；　
dreary；　but　glorious　voyage。　And　it　was　Katharine　
who　had　opened　his　eyes　to　this；　he　thought。　

A　little　dry　chirp　from　the　corner　of　the　room　now　roused　
her　attention。　

“My　tame　rook；”　he　explained　briefly。　“A　cat　had　bitten　
one　of　its　legs。”　She　looked　at　the　rook；　and　her　eyes　
went　from　one　object　to　another。　

“You　sit　here　and　read？”　she　said；　her　eyes　resting　upon　
his　books。　He　said　that　he　was　in　the　habit　of　working　
there　at　night。　

“The　great　advantage　of　Highgate　is　the　view　over　London。　
At　night　the　view　from　my　window　is　splendid。”　He　
was　extremely　anxious　that　she　should　appreciate　his　view；　

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Virginia　Woolf　

and　she　rose　to　see　what　was　to　be　seen。　It　was　already　dark　
enough　for　the　turbulent　haze　to　be　yellow　with　the　light　of　
street　lamps；　and　she　tried　to　determine　the　quarters　of　the　
city　beneath　her。　The　sight　of　her　gazing　from　his　window　
gave　him　a　peculiar　satisfaction。　When　she　turned；　at　length；　
he　was　still　sitting　motionless　in　his　chair。　

“It　must　be　late；”　she　said。　“I　must　be　going。”　She　
settled　upon　the　arm　of　the　chair　irresolutely；　thinking　
that　she　had　no　wish　to　go　home。　William　would　be　there；　
and　he　would　find　some　way　of　making　things　unpleasant　
for　her；　and　the　memory　of　their　quarrel　came　back　to　her。　
She　had　noticed　Ralph’s　coldness；　too。　She　looked　at　him；　
and　from　his　fixed　stare　she　thought　that　he　must　be　
working　out　some　theory；　some　argument。　He　had　thought；　
perhaps；　of　some　fresh　point　in　his　position；　as　to　the　
bounds　of　personal　liberty。　She　waited；　silently；　thinking　
about　liberty。　

“You’ve　won　again；”　he　said　at　last；　without　moving。　

“I’ve　won？”　she　repeated；　thinking　of　the　argument。　

“I　wish　to　God　I　hadn’t　asked　you　here；”　he　burst　out。　

“What　do　you　mean？”　

“When　you’re　here；　it’s　different—I’m　happy。　You’ve　only　
to　walk　to　the　window—you’ve　only　to　talk　about　liberty。　
When　I　saw　you　down　there　among　them　all—”　He　stopped　
short。　

“You　thought　how　ordinary　I　was。”　

“I　tried　to　think　so。　But　I　thought　you　more　wonderful　
than　ever。”　

An　immense　relief；　and　a　reluctance　to　enjoy　that　relief；　
conflicted　in　her　heart。　

She　slid　down　into　the　chair。　

“I　thought　you　disliked　me；”　she　said。　

“God　knows　I　tried；”　he　replied。　“I’ve　done　my　best　to　
see　you　as　you　are；　without　any　of　this　damned　romantic　
nonsense。　That　was　why　I　asked　you　here；　and　it’s　increased　
my　folly。　When　you’re　gone　I　shall　look　out　of　
that　window　and　think　of　you。　I　shall　waste　the　whole　
evening　thinking　of　you。　I　shall　waste　my　whole　life；　I　
believe。”　

He　spoke　with　such　vehemence　that　her　relief　disappeared；　
she　frowned；　and　her　tone　changed　to　one　almost　
of　severity。　

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Night　and　Day　

“This　is　what　I　foretold。　We　shall　gain　nothing　but　unhappiness。　
Look　at　me；　Ralph。”　He　looked　at　her。　“I　assure　
you　that　I’m　far　more　ordinary　than　I　a