[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第84部分

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you；　yours　have　nothing　to　do　with　me。　Katharine；”　he　
added；　his　assumption　of　reason　broken　up　by　his　agitation；　
“I　assure　you　that　we　are　in　love—what　other　people　
call　love。　Remember　that　night。　We　had　no　doubts　whatever　
then。　We　were　absolutely　happy　for　half　an　hour。　You　
had　no　lapse　until　the　day　after；　I　had　no　lapse　until　yesterday　
morning。　We’ve　been　happy　at　intervals　all　day　until　
I—went　off　my　head；　and　you；　quite　naturally；　were　bored。”　

“Ah；”　she　exclaimed；　as　if　the　subject　chafed　her；　“I　can’t　
make　you　understand。　It’s　not　boredom—I’m　never　bored。　
Reality—reality；”　she　ejaculated；　tapping　her　finger　upon　
the　table　as　if　to　emphasize　and　perhaps　explain　her　isolated　
utterance　of　this　word。　“I　cease　to　be　real　to　you。　It’s　
the　faces　in　a　storm　again—the　vision　in　a　hurricane。　We　
e　together　for　a　moment　and　we　part。　It’s　my　fault；　
too。　I’m　as　bad　as　you　are—worse；　perhaps。”　

They　were　trying　to　explain；　not　for　the　first　time；　as　
their　weary　gestures　and　frequent　interruptions　showed；　
what　in　their　mon　language　they　had　christened　their　

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Night　and　Day　

“lapses”；　a　constant　source　of　distress　to　them；　in　the　
past　few　days；　and　the　immediate　reason　why　Ralph　was　
on　his　way　to　leave　the　house　when　Katharine；　listening　
anxiously；　heard　him　and　prevented　him。　What　was　the　
cause　of　these　lapses？　Either　because　Katharine　looked　
more　beautiful；　or　more　strange；　because　she　wore　something　
different；　or　said　something　unexpected；　Ralph’s　
sense　of　her　romance　welled　up　and　overcame　him　either　
into　silence　or　into　inarticulate　expressions；　which　
Katharine；　with　unintentional　but　invariable　perversity；　
interrupted　or　contradicted　with　some　severity　or　assertion　
of　prosaic　fact。　Then　the　vision　disappeared；　and　
Ralph　expressed　vehemently　in　his　turn　the　conviction　
that　he　only　loved　her　shadow　and　cared　nothing　for　her　
reality。　If　the　lapse　was　on　her　side　it　took　the　form　of　
gradual　detachment　until　she　became　pletely　absorbed　
in　her　own　thoughts；　which　carried　her　away　with　such　
intensity　that　she　sharply　resented　any　recall　to　her　
panion’s　side。　It　was　useless　to　assert　that　these　
trances　were　always　originated　by　Ralph　himself；　however　
little　in　their　later　stages　they　had　to　do　with　him。　

The　fact　remained　that　she　had　no　need　of　him　and　was　
very　loath　to　be　reminded　of　him。　How；　then；　could　they　
be　in　love？　The　fragmentary　nature　of　their　relationship　
was　but　too　apparent。　

Thus　they　sat　depressed　to　silence　at　the　diningroom　
table；　oblivious　of　everything；　while　Rodney　paced　the　
drawingroom　overhead　in　such　agitation　and　exaltation　
of　mind　as　he　had　never　conceived　possible；　and　Cassandra　
remained　alone　with　her　uncle。　Ralph；　at　length；　rose　
and　walked　gloomily　to　the　window。　He　pressed　close　to　
the　pane。　Outside　were　truth　and　freedom　and　the　immensity　
only　to　be　apprehended　by　the　mind　in　loneliness；　
and　never　municated　to　another。　What　worse　
sacrilege　was　there　than　to　attempt　to　violate　what　he　
perceived　by　seeking　to　impart　it？　Some　movement　behind　
him　made　him　reflect　that　Katharine　had　the　power；　
if　she　chose；　to　be　in　person　what　he　dreamed　of　her　
spirit。　He　turned　sharply　to　implore　her　help；　when　again　
he　was　struck　cold　by　her　look　of　distance；　her　expression　
of　intentness　upon　some　far　object。　As　if　conscious　of　his　
look　upon　her　she　rose　and　came　to　him；　standing　close　

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by　his　side；　and　looking　with　him　out　into　the　dusky　
atmosphere。　Their　physical　closeness　was　to　him　a　bitter　
enough　ment　upon　the　distance　between　their　minds。　
Yet　distant　as　she　was；　her　presence　by　his　side　transformed　
the　world。　He　saw　himself　performing　wonderful　
deeds　of　courage；　saving　the　drowning；　rescuing　the　forlorn。　
Impatient　with　this　form　of　egotism；　he　could　not　
shake　off　the　conviction　that　somehow　life　was　wonderful；　
romantic；　a　master　worth　serving　so　long　as　she　stood　
there。　He　had　no　wish　that　she　should　speak；　he　did　not　
look　at　her　or　touch　her；　she　was　apparently　deep　in　her　
own　thoughts　and　oblivious　of　his　presence。　

The　door　opened　without　their　hearing　the　sound。　Mr。　
Hilbery　looked　round　the　room；　and　for　a　moment　failed　
to　discover　the　two　figures　in　the　window。　He　started　
with　displeasure　when　he　saw　them；　and　observed　them　
keenly　before　he　appeared　able　to　make　up　his　mind　to　
say　anything。　He　made　a　movement　finally　that　warned　
them　of　his　presence；　they　turned　instantly。　Without　speaking；　
he　beckoned　to　Katharine　to　e　to　him；　and；　keeping　
his　eyes　from　the　region　of　the　room　where　Denham　

stood；　he　shepherded　her　in　front　of　him　back　to　the　
study。　When　Katharine　was　inside　the　room　he　shut　the　
study　door　carefully　behind　him　as　if　to　secure　himself　
from　something　that　he　disliked。　

“Now；　Katharine；”　he　said；　taking　up　his　stand　in　front　
of　the　fire；　“you　will；　perhaps；　have　the　kindness　to　explain—”　
She　remained　silent。　“What　inferences　do　you　
expect　me　to　draw？”　he　said　sharply…　。　“You　tell　me　that　
you　are　not　engaged　to　Rodney；　I　see　you　on　what　appear　
to　be　extremely　intimate　terms　with　another—with　
Ralph　Denham。　What　am　I　to　conclude？　Are　you；”　he　added；　
as　she　still　said　nothing；　“engaged　to　Ralph　Denham？”　

“No；”　she　replied。　

His　sense　of　relief　was　great；　he　had　been　certain　that　
her　answer　would　have　confirmed　his　suspicions；　but　that　
anxiety　being　set　at　rest；　he　was　the　more　conscious　of　
annoyance　with　her　for　her　behavior。　

“Then　all　I　can　say　is　that　you’ve　very　strange　ideas　of　
the　proper　way　to　behave…　。　People　have　drawn　certain　
conclusions；　nor　am　I　surprised…　。　The　more　I　think　of　it　
the　more　inexplicable　I　find　it；”　he　went　on；　his　anger　

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Night　and　Day　

rising　as　he　spoke。　“Why　am　I　left　in　ignorance　of　what　is　
going　on　in　my　own　house？　Why　am　I　left　to　hear　of　these　
events　for　the　first　time　from　my　sister？　Most　disagree
able—most　upsetting。　How　I’m　to　explain　to　your　Uncle　
Francis—but　I　wash　my　hands　of　it。　Cassandra　goes　tomorrow。　
I　forbid　Rodney　the　house。　As　for　the　other　young　
man；　the　sooner　he　makes　himself　scarce　the　better。　After　
placing　the　most　implicit　trust　in　you；　Katharine—”　
He　broke　off；　disquieted　by　the　ominous　silence　with　which　
his　words　were　received；　and　looked　at　his　daughter　with　
the　curious　doubt　as　to　her　state　of　mind　which　he　had　
felt　before；　for　the　first　time；　this　evening。　He　perceived　
once　more　that　she　was　not　attending　to　what　he　said；　
but　was　listening；　and　for　a　moment　he；　too；　listened　for　
sounds　outside　the　room。　His　certainty　that　there　was　
some　understanding　between　Denham　and　Katharine　returned；　
but　with　a　most　unpleasant　suspicion　that　there　
was　something　illicit　about　it；　as　the　whole　position　between　
the　young　people　seemed　to　him　gravely　illicit。　

“I’ll　speak　to　Denham；”　he　said；　on　the　impulse　of　his　
suspicion；　moving　as　if　to　go。　

“I　shall　e　with　you；”　Katharine　said　instantly；　starting　
forward。　

“You　will　stay　here；”　said　her　father。　

“What　are　you　going　to　say　to　him？”　she　asked。　

“I　suppose　I　may　say　what　I　like　in　my　own　house？”　he　
returned。　

“Then　I　go；　too；”　she　replied。　

At　these　words；　which　seemed　to　imply　a　determination　
to　go—to　go　for　ever；　Mr。　Hilbery　returned　to　his　position　
in　front　of　the　fire；　and　began　swaying　slightly　from　side　
to　side　without　for　the　moment　making　any　remark。　

“I　understood　you　to　say　that　you　were　not　engaged　to　
him；”　he　said　at　length；　fixing　his　eyes　upon　his　daughter。　

“We　are　not　engaged；”　she　said。　

“It　should　be　a　matter　of　indifference　to　you；　then；　
whether　he　es　here　or　not—I　will　not　have　you　listening　
to　other　things　when　I　am　speaking　to　you！”　he　
broke　off　angrily；　perceiving　a　slight　movement　on　her　
part　to　one　side。　“Answer　me　frankly；　what　is　your　relationship　
with　this　young　man？”　

“Nothing　that　I　can　explain　to　a　third　person；”　she　said　

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obstinately。　

“I　will　have　no　more　of　these　equivocations；”　he　replied。　


“I　refuse　to　explain；”　she　returned；　and　as　she　said　it　
the　front　door　banged　to。　“There！”　she　exclaimed。　“He　is　
gone！”　She　flashed　such　a　look　of　fiery　indignation　at　her　
father　that　he　lost　his　selfcontrol　for　a　moment。　

“For　God’s　sake；　Katharine；　control　yourself！”　he　cried。　

She　looked　for　a　moment　like　a　wild　animal　caged　in　a　
civilized　dwellingplace。　She　glanced　over　the　walls　covered　
with　books；　as　if　for　a　second　she　had　forgotten　the　
position　of　the　door。　Then　she　made　as　if　to　go；　but　her　
father　laid　his　hand　upon　her　shoulder。　He　pelled　her　
to　sit　down。　

“These　emotions　have　been　very　upsetting；　naturally；”　
he　said。　His　manner　had　regained　all　its　suavity；　and　he　
spoke　with　a　soothing　assumption　of　paternal　authority。　
“You’ve　been　placed　in　a　very　difficult　position；　as　I　understand　
from　Cassandra。　Now　let　us　e　to　terms；　we　
will　leave　these　agitating　questions　in　peace　for　the　
present。　Meanwhile；　let　us　try　to　behave　like　civilized　

beings。　Let　us　read　Sir　Walter　Scott。　What　d’you　say　to　
‘The　Antiquary；’　eh？　Or　‘The　Bride　of　Lammermoor’？”　

He　made　his　own　choice；　and　before　his　daughter　could　
protest　or　make　her　escape；　she　found　herself　being　turned　
by　the　agency　of　Sir　Walter　Scott　into　a　civilized　human　
being。　

Yet　Mr。　Hilbery　had　grave　doubts；　as　he　read；　whether　
the　process　was　more　than　skindeep。　Civilization　had　
been　very　profoundly　and　unpleasantly　overthrown　that　
evening；　the　extent　of　the　ruin　was　still　undetermined；　
he　had　lost　his　temper；　a　physical　disaster　not　to　be　
matched　for　the　space　of　ten　years　or　so；　and　his　own　
condition　urgently　required　soothing　and　renovating　at　
the　hands　of　the　classics。　His　house　was　in　a　state　of　
revolution；　he　had　a　vision　of　unpleasant　encounters　on　
the　staircase；　his　meals　would　be　poisoned　for　days　to　
e；　was　literature　itself　a　specific　against　such　
disagreeables？　A　note　of　hollowness　was　in　his　voice　as　
he　read。　

415　



Night　and　Day　

CHAPTER　XXXIII　


Considering　that　Mr。　Hilbery　lived　in　a　house　which　was　
accurately　numbered　in　order　with　its　fellows；　and　that　
he　filled　up　forms；　paid　rent；　and　had　seven　more　years　of　
tenancy　to　run；　he　had　an　excuse　for　laying　down　laws　for　
the　conduct　of　those　who　lived　in　his　house；　and　this　
excuse；　though　profoundly　inadequate；　he　found　useful　
during　the　interregnum　of　civilization　with　which　he　now　
found　himself　faced。　In　obedience　to　those　laws；　Rodney　
disappeared；　Cassandra　was　dispatched　to　catch　the　
eleventhirty　on　Monday　morning；　Denham　was　seen　no　
more；　so　that　only　Katharine；　the　lawful　occupant　of　the　
upper　rooms；　remained；　and　Mr。　Hilbery　thought　himself　
petent　to　see　that　she　did　nothing　further　to　promise　
herself。　As　he　bade　her　good　morning　next　day　
he　was　aware　that　he　knew　nothing　of　what　she　was　thinking；　
but；　as　he　reflected　with　some　bitterness；　even　this　
was　an　advance　upon　the　ignorance　of　the　previous　mornings。　
He　went　to　his　study；　wrote；　tore　up；　and　wrote